1. That “y’all” and “fixin’ to” are a legitimate part of the English vocabulary. If you don’t say these phrases on a regular and consistent basis, we know right away that you aren’t from our neck of the woods. Oh, and “neck of the woods” – you have to say that too.
2. Chicken Fried Steak is a required part of every Texan’s diet. Extra credit for mash potatoes, corn on the cob, and fried okra. And for the record, it’s not chicken fried steak unless it’s smothered in white cream gravy. I’ve heard rumors about restaurants in other states putting brown gravy on a fried chicken cutlet and trying to pass it off as chicken fried steak on the menu. That should be a crime, punishable by imprisonment or at least a few days of picking up trash along the roadside.
4. Humidity = Hair spray. Enough said. If you want to know which brand works best, ask any female from Texas. Trust me, these gals know their hair products. Should one of those Texas-sized tornadoes blow through town, they might lose their homes, but God love ‘em, their shellacked hair helmets will remain right smack in place, not a hair out of place.
5. You can do serious jail time for picking bluebonnets (our state flower). Okay, not really, but we continue to pass along this tall Texas tale to our children and grandchildren in order to scare them half out of their wits, so they’ll leave these beauties untouched on the side of the road.
6. There is no such thing as “authentic Mexican food.” I’m guessing that some health freak in California probably coined the phrase. And while we’re at it, I think it’s high time we admit that Texas does Mexican food better than…Mexico. It’s a proud statement, I know, but it needed to be said. Cheese enchiladas in Texas, by law, must be topped with chili con carne, cheese, onions, and sitting in a pool of grease in order to qualify for Tex-Mex. Restaurants fixing them any other way in this state won’t be in business for long. And Queso is not the same thing as “cheese dip.” If made right, you will dream about this golden treasure on a regular basis. (For the record, every time I go home a Tex-Mex restaurant is what I smell the minute my plane touches down at DFW - and much to my families dismay that is ALL I want while I am home! Doing without Tex-Mex may be my most difficult adjustment since moving out of state.)
7. The weather is as unpredictable as a quirky middle school romance. It can be below freezing in the morning and in the 80’s by mid-afternoon. Oh, and when it freezes over every decade or so, everything shuts down because we don’t know what to do. Those who venture out usually end up on the evening news standing next to their banged-up car in a ditch with their heads bowed in shame.
8. There is only one “UT.” Wait, you didn’t know there’s another college out there claiming to be UT with some skewed shade of orange and white? (Cough, cough, Tennessee) It is very cool that people as far away as Tennessee follow the Horns!
9. There is no such thing as a stranger. We are the “friendly state” and with that honor comes the responsibility of smiling, waving, or saying “hi” (or a combination of all three) to passers-by. If you don’t respond to our kind gesture, we automatically assume you are: A) hard of seeing and hearing or B) from New York.
10. We are proud, but not prideful. Big difference. We simply take great pride in being from Texas and can’t imagine living anywhere else. Whoops, did that sound prideful?
If you’re from Texas, comment back with your favorite place to get good Tex-Mex, BEEF BBQ, or Chicken Fried Steak! Don’t forget to include the city, so those visiting from out-of-state know where to find good Texas cuisine.
Once a Texan - always a Texan! 
No comments:
Post a Comment